> "this company is someone else's property, you have no rights to that property, we do what we want, so play nice and don't piss off the wrong folks unless you're ok leaving."
> so play nice and don't piss off the wrong folks
"Play nice", "don't piss off" and "the wrong folks" are open to interpretation. I think having these at least somewhat codified is very helpful. Cultures differ a lot, and what may be considered "a useful, clear, concise and honest code review" in one is "blatant non-constructive shitstorm from an arrogant a-hole" in another.
However, such codification probably requires specific examples rather than "please be respectful to all people regardless of X, Y, Z" or "don't piss off people". For example, I really like how Recurse Center's "Social Rules" are described: https://web.archive.org/web/20211117232710/https://www.recur...
> Most of our social rules really boil down to "don't be a jerk" or "don't be annoying." Of course, almost nobody sets out to be a jerk or annoying, so telling people not to be jerks isn't a very productive strategy. That's why our social rules are designed to curtail specific behavior we've found to be destructive to a supportive, productive, and fun learning environment.
> "Play nice", "don't piss off" and "the wrong folks" are open to interpretation.
Yup. It's sometimes hard to figure out how power flows and the social preferences of the people who modulate those flows. Getting along in large orgs is a skill that requires both experience and intentional work.
The problem is that people rarely run into trouble due to abrasiveness among peers, so examples like the Recurse center can be helpful but are woefully incomplete as a guide to corporate politics.
Getting along while being ambitious is anything but easy. There are no rules.
At the end of the day, "social skills" and "social intelligence" are just that -- forms of skill and intelligence. "Getting Along" is always a learned behavior, albiet does come more naturally to some than others, and is far easier said than done.
These skills are often learned pretty early on in life. It's one of the reasons I encourage folks who are considering home-schooling to at least send their kids to one year of high school.
> so play nice and don't piss off the wrong folks
"Play nice", "don't piss off" and "the wrong folks" are open to interpretation. I think having these at least somewhat codified is very helpful. Cultures differ a lot, and what may be considered "a useful, clear, concise and honest code review" in one is "blatant non-constructive shitstorm from an arrogant a-hole" in another.
However, such codification probably requires specific examples rather than "please be respectful to all people regardless of X, Y, Z" or "don't piss off people". For example, I really like how Recurse Center's "Social Rules" are described: https://web.archive.org/web/20211117232710/https://www.recur...
> Most of our social rules really boil down to "don't be a jerk" or "don't be annoying." Of course, almost nobody sets out to be a jerk or annoying, so telling people not to be jerks isn't a very productive strategy. That's why our social rules are designed to curtail specific behavior we've found to be destructive to a supportive, productive, and fun learning environment.