What you're describing, though, is normal. The vast majority of deals happen this way. (We only hear about the tiny fraction where rank and file do make a dime or two, like we hear about the 10 heart conditions / COVID complication and suddenly the sky is falling.)
Whereas, while the situation described by the GP is not unheard of, it's uncommon.
Anyway, your situation is why the common mantra, value your stock options at $0.
I think that's a wrong statement though. Stock options should have a binary value. $0 or IPO/exit value. If the company doesn't go all the way to IPO, you won't get a partial payout. So then guesstimate the IPO valuation of your options and factor the risk.
It is normal, but a lot of the rank & file don't understand that ahead of time.
I also think that fact that management went out of their way to leave the common shares with nothing is scummy, bordering on unethical. Which is not the same as saying it's uncommon.
Whereas, while the situation described by the GP is not unheard of, it's uncommon.
Anyway, your situation is why the common mantra, value your stock options at $0.
I think that's a wrong statement though. Stock options should have a binary value. $0 or IPO/exit value. If the company doesn't go all the way to IPO, you won't get a partial payout. So then guesstimate the IPO valuation of your options and factor the risk.