I myself went through a breakup recently which exasperated my experience of loneliness, esp. in the context of Pandemic related isolation.
I came to understand that spending time alone needs to be balanced with time-with.
Similar to time indoors and time outdoors - if I don’t take my daily walk, I start feeling uneasy and claustrophobic.
Or, sitting still and moving / working out.
I call my body “the puppy”. It needs to be taken out, it needs play, it needs a “pack” - or it will get sick.
So yes, spending time with people is a biological necessity.
Doesn’t have to be in person. I started by calling friends during my walks. So I’d have an hour long walk and a 30-40 min honest, open, uncensored conversation about what matters in my life and what matters in theirs. Making sure to spend about equal times on each other. The result is feeling connected, seen, know that I matter to someone.
I highly recommend this - found the conversation practice to be an essential contribution to my mental health.
In your case, I’d consider looking for ways to spend time with your children. This kind of separation is very heavy on the heart.
As for how did I find 5-7 friends… I called more than that and befriended the ones who showed up for it. I didn’t mind being the one initiating for a while, or being turned down.
But eventually they’d pick up with “let me guess - you’re on your evening walk and need a friend to talk to”
I came to understand that spending time alone needs to be balanced with time-with.
Similar to time indoors and time outdoors - if I don’t take my daily walk, I start feeling uneasy and claustrophobic.
Or, sitting still and moving / working out.
I call my body “the puppy”. It needs to be taken out, it needs play, it needs a “pack” - or it will get sick.
So yes, spending time with people is a biological necessity.
Doesn’t have to be in person. I started by calling friends during my walks. So I’d have an hour long walk and a 30-40 min honest, open, uncensored conversation about what matters in my life and what matters in theirs. Making sure to spend about equal times on each other. The result is feeling connected, seen, know that I matter to someone.
I highly recommend this - found the conversation practice to be an essential contribution to my mental health.
In your case, I’d consider looking for ways to spend time with your children. This kind of separation is very heavy on the heart.
As for how did I find 5-7 friends… I called more than that and befriended the ones who showed up for it. I didn’t mind being the one initiating for a while, or being turned down.
But eventually they’d pick up with “let me guess - you’re on your evening walk and need a friend to talk to”
Yes, I am, and you’re the friend.