Don't hate yourself. If you can go a few weeks at a time that's good. Better than me. You are certainly better off for that. Blowing off is not all bad. Maybe feeling shit for a couple of days is a price worth paying for decompressing once a month? I'm not advocating that I would love to stop but at the same time... I also like it and it's part of my culture. Do your best, limit yourself, feel good for your achievements not bad about the failures