Regarding "hating yourself when you fail" -- a growth mindset helps with this kind of negative thought pattern, generally. You are making incremental, iterative progress not flipping a binary switch.
One thing that was a big help, in my experience, was noticing that I liked carbonization and conversation, not ethanol. I switched to soda and citrus. I've also heard good things about CBD beverages if your jurisdiction allows.
Regarding "hating yourself when you fail" -- a growth mindset helps with this kind of negative thought pattern, generally. You are making incremental, iterative progress not flipping a binary switch.
One thing that was a big help, in my experience, was noticing that I liked carbonization and conversation, not ethanol. I switched to soda and citrus. I've also heard good things about CBD beverages if your jurisdiction allows.