It was something I intrinsically knew, from the moment I became remotely cognizant of the differences between men and women (about 5 years old). I didn’t have words for it, and frequently any mention of the notion either by myself or in popular culture was met with instant derision or comedy. So with the social brow beatings accumulated, I kept quiet, and tried to live as a man. The depression got worse, the drinking got worse, etc. The things that helped me most:
- My spouse, who was supportive and understanding the moment I came out
- My family, who were largely unsurprised by the news (my grandfather made an oddly supportive albeit sexist joke, saying “I knew that kid was a girl the moment she learned to talk and wouldn’t shut up!”)
- My friends, who were also completely unsurprised
- My own physiology, in that I discovered in the process of obtaining HRT that I am intersex, which honestly explained a lot.
- My spouse, who was supportive and understanding the moment I came out
- My family, who were largely unsurprised by the news (my grandfather made an oddly supportive albeit sexist joke, saying “I knew that kid was a girl the moment she learned to talk and wouldn’t shut up!”)
- My friends, who were also completely unsurprised
- My own physiology, in that I discovered in the process of obtaining HRT that I am intersex, which honestly explained a lot.